How a father became a student of parenting & bridged communication gap with his 18 & 25 year olds

A Journey Filled with Joy and Responsibility

When asked about his parenting journey and the rewards that came with it, Dharamvir reflected:
“Our parenting journey was quite challenging because we faced medical issues for about six to seven years. When children finally came into our lives, it brought a whole new sense of responsibility and immense joy. The arrival of a new life filled us with happiness, but it also made us more aware of our responsibilities. Observing and being around our kids brings so much joy, making it a beautiful blend of challenges, responsibilities, and happiness, especially in the beginning.”

Navigating Communication Challenges During Teenage Years

As the conversation shifted to challenges faced during parenting, Dharamvir candidly shared:
"As they entered their teenage years, I think the biggest challenge we faced was losing effective communication with them. This gap in communication made us feel disconnected, which was quite disheartening. It felt like the strength and bond we once had was fading, and that wasn’t a good feeling."

The Importance of Listening to Children

When asked about advice for encouraging individuality in children, Dharamvir offered a powerful insight:
"My advice to parents would be that if you listen to your children attentively for 50 minutes, you earn the right to speak to them for just 5 minutes. That should ideally be the ratio. Listening first is key, and I completely agree with this approach."

Shifting Focus and Priorities After Becoming a Parent

Parenting, as Dharamvir mentioned, profoundly changed his perspective on life and priorities:
"Yeah, having kids made us more responsible. Our focus naturally shifted from our own needs to theirs, and for a long time, they became our top priority. Most of our decisions, whether it was about going out or making plans, were guided by their needs and what was best for them at that moment.”

Finding the Right Support

Reflecting on what motivated him to join Brightlife, Dharamvir shared:
“What I like about Brightlife is that I had so many questions in my mind for a long time, but I couldn’t find anything that addressed them in a more personal and intimate way. When it came to parenting, we faced many challenges, but it never really occurred to us that we could seek support, guidance, or expert help in this area. That was something we hadn’t considered before.

I also give a lot of credit to Brightlife for finding us in whatever way they did. They have a great website and a solid system that makes them approachable. When I came across Brightlife while looking for answers, I immediately felt that I was in the right place”.

A New Perspective on Parenting and Communication

When discussing the most impactful insights gained from program, Dharamvir highlighted a significant shift in his perspective:
“The most important thing I’ve realized about parenting is that it’s a continuous learning journey. There’s always so much to learn and grow in this space, and that mindset has been really important for me.

 I also appreciated everything you had to offer—whether it was about parenting, communication, or studies. It brought a fresh perspective and a new way of looking at things. The way I now approach parenting and communicate with my children has changed for the better, and this fresh perspective has been really valuable.”

Embracing the Mindset of Lifelong Learning in Parenting

When asked about a mindset shift that still influences him today, Dharamvir emphasized:
“Yeah, so basically, my biggest mindset shift is realizing that I’m not just in parenting—I’m a student of parenting. It’s an ongoing journey where I’m constantly learning and evolving along the way.”

Lessons He Wishes More Parents Knew

When asked about something he learned that he wished more parents knew, Dharamvir expressed:
“I see myself as a student of parenting, and this is something I can keep learning throughout my life. Parenting isn’t something that comes naturally—you have to learn it. Even something as basic as changing nappies doesn’t come to you naturally; you learn it over time. So, when it comes to the many other aspects of parenting, it’s important not to assume that they’ll come naturally either. Being in a constant space of learning when it comes to parenting is truly valuable.

A Desire for More Conversations About Sensitive Topics

When considering additional topics Brightlife could explore, Dharamvir suggested:
"I’m not sure if this has been covered in detail, but the topic I’m referring to is how and when to talk to children about sex. It’s an important aspect of parenting, especially considering the environment kids are growing up in today. Even earlier, there were many challenges in this area, and as children grow, understanding how to guide them through these conversations becomes essential for their development and safety”.